I am still alive..just not so kickin'

Hi everyone! I want to let everyone know I am here...to stay. I will not let myself down anymore. I have not posted on here for numerous reasons, the main reason being my not being on program. The last month and half have been a bit crazy. I think I need to back up a little.

In June of this year, my husband received orders to Virginia. At the time we lived in Kodiak, Alaska. We had lived there for 10 years. This is a very long time in one place for a military family. It is home. Our whole life was there. Right before we left I had to put my best buddy Reese, (he was a poodle/pom mix dog) who was 14 years old and very ill to sleep. It was the hardest thing I have had to do. But we went on. Well, we packed up and moved on. On the way to Virginia, we stopped for vacation in Missouri. It did not turn out to be much of a vacation. With in two days of being there my grandma passed away. Then 5 days after that my husband Jay's, grandpa passed away. We knew due to their ages and illnesses that this was going to happen very soon, but you are never truly prepared to lose those you love dearly. We left Missouri to start our new adventure in Virginia and 10 days later we received a call that my husband's mom passed away. WOW...is an understatement. She was only 56 and loved life. It was not expected. We had just seen her and made plans to do things now that we were in the lower 48 states. A major loss. When all of the chaos finally subsided we headed back to Virginia one more time. My boys started a new school that was triple the size of what they were used to. I started attending college to complete my Bachelor's degree and Jay went to a new job commuting 100 miles a day. Life became a blur. I started my blog and talking to Jimmy Moore because the light did come on for me. I wanted to live a long healthy life. I was excited and pumped up. Then the next phone call came in .... My other grandma passed away. Yes, she was old, and no, it was not quite a shock. But everything sort of hit me all at once. I lost my dog of 14 years that I picked out the day after he was born, both my grandmas, Jay's grandpa, and my really cool mother in law. (no lie, she was very cool), And we moved to a crazy busseling city that none of us were prepared for. Our whole entire existence changed. I have been in major depression mode. Which for me also means major eating of bad food mode. I hit an all time low. I suffer with depression/anxiety anyway but can usually control it with meds and therapy. I lost it. And sometimes am still losing it. Fast forward to this weekend...

As a military family, Busch Gardens gives 4 free admission tickets every year. My family went this weekend with my mom and my son's new girlfriend. It was fun but yet another eyeopener. I could not ride on most of the rides, I couldn't keep up with husband and the kids so my mom and I made the excuse we wanted to shop while they ran around to all the rides. About halfway through the adventure, my knees ached, my feet were killing me and if I walked too far at one time I could not breath. That was it. Between going crazy over our losses and then not being able to enjoy a fun trip with my kids and husband I have lost my mind.

Now.... I tell you all of this, not for pity, I don't ever want that. I tell you all of this to explain what is now going on in my head.

It hit me, through all of this crazy jumbled mess, that this is life. Plain and simple, life. Good and bad, it's life. I keep putting off life by staying heavy. Eating is my solace to pain yet it causes me tremendous pain. Whether I eat the junk or not, life and death, will still go on around me. I can not control everything although I want to. What I can control I throw away. And everytime I stuff myself I am killing myself. I do not honor those loves in my life that our family just lost. I am a junkie. It may sound stupid to some. But my drug is food. Or more precisely carbohydrates and sugar. I have tried to hide myself behind this food and weight for far to long. The main thing I have learned is that everyday is a blessing. Life is far to short to throw it away for cake, junk food, and obsession. Iwant to be healthy and vibrant. Not fat, depressed, and angry all the time.

So I am here again to start...again. I can do this, but it will take time. For me its not just about food, its about addiction. And I will start again everyday. Every morning. Every minute of everyday.

Tomorrow morning is my day 1 on Atkins. It may have been my 100th first day of Atkins, but it will be my last first day of Atkins. This is my life now.

sheri

292/292/135

DAY THREE DUM..DUM...DDDDUUMMMM

Well it is day three of my new life. And the "induction flu" is in full swing. Last night I was having a horrible, I'm tired, cranky, headachy and if I have to pee one more time (is there enough toilet paper in the world for how water makes me pee?) I am going to scream, kinda night. Then I recieved an e-mail from new friend Jimmy Moore. Amen, Amen I say to you! (ok, as the goddess, please realise, drama is my life...LOL) He posted a blog about my e-mail to him. Can I say this once again...he is soooo inspiring. I needed this last night as I was wanting to climb into my car and drive to Vermont to buy out the whole of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream company! But, between Jimmy's blog and my new "there's no crying in low carb" attitude...I was inspired to a solution for my sweet tooth and wretched crankiness....in comes a mini low carb meal. I decided, since I am an addict,(sugar) and since I am on induction, I had to think of something not super sweet. Even low carb candy (don't think for one second that low carb candy is not in my house, it is all here) I first chose to eat normal food to cut the craving. I know that people say you should eat something in close proximity to what you want or you will eat too much trying to meet that craving. Ok, I agree with this, but.....And my Butt is big... :) I have been through induction week one so many times and given up because of the "induction flu", that I want to do this right. I feel, for me personally, that if I stuff a low carb candy in my face, ON INDUCTION, everytime I get a bit whiney, I will get nowhere...and fast. I think it is depending on the sweet taste too much again...I have done this in the past only to never get through the icky feelings. I have no idea why this is so....but for me it is so. Am I saying low carb candy is a strict no no! ARE YOU KIDDING!! I am a goddess, and by goddess laws, chocolate is our food of choice (well, chocolate and ice cream) I would never give it up...EVER! To me this just a temporary 2 week thing to get me through the induction flu and on with my low carb life.
Well back to my low carb mini meal. Has anyone hear ever heard that coconut oil is good for you in our country? NO...you say...it's a saturated fat you crazy low carb goddess Sheri! You must be mad...it will make all the bad cholesterolly stuff happen to my body!
I am hear to tell you this is just not so. There are so many good things about coconut oil (make sure its extra virgin coconut oil). Davinci syrups or splenda, this too has fat to sustain you and a bit of sweet. The awesome low carb danish that Nutriva'carries a fantastic coconut oil! Check it out. Do some research on this great fat. Fat in general helps us on our low carb journeys...it causes us to feel full, and be satisfied. So, I took some of my Kent Altena does a video recipe for would be good. Or the one sweet I do allow myself on induction every morning for breakfast ...an Atkins'Low Carb Shake.
The reason I allow myself this one small sweet is because I needed a way to incorporate my daily intake of coconut oil (I try to have at least 3 to 4 tablespoons a day) and my vitamins. I have a horrible time taking pills so my vitamins and suppliments are mostly taken in liquid or powder form. So here is the recipe for my Morning energy shake...
1 tablespoon either flax oil or flax meal (we will talk about this on another blog)
Atkins'shake (your choice of flavor)
about 1/3 to 1/2 of your blender full of ice
2 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Coconut Oil (I use Nutriva).
I then add whatever vitamins I must take.
Blend well and drink.
This makes a lot of shake! So if you find you cannot drink it all put half in the fridge/freezer for an afternoon or late night snack. Just reblend and drink away!
Now I must end this post (huge post) by letting you all know that my weigh-in day is on Tuesdays. BUTTTTTTTT......I couldn't help myself on morning 3... I have already lost 5.8 pounds. NOW don't get all crazy on me saying....oh this is allllll just water weight...because initially (especially when you start drinking a gallon and 1/2 of water a day...did I mention I have spent the majority of my time in the little goddess' room :) ) it is water weight...but if continued I beg to differ with all those low carb naysayers out there who have decided that you ONLY lose water weight and muscle on low carb....POSH. If this is the case why then, not to mention how can they (the evil naysayers) account for my new friends or Jimmy Moore's 180 pound weight loss and Kent Altena's 189 pound loss. If it was all water and muscle these poor men would be nothing but dried up old pruney people. But they are healthy, and have great skin and muscles...how is that you ask? You begin burning fat after the initial water loss and these two gentlemen are proof. I was just excited I already have some bodily feedback to show this program works!
Blessings to you all today!

Revision: Some of my links are not working because ...well... I am a big newbie and not quite sure how to do them. I will learn, I promise. As for the links...Jimmy Moore's link is http://livinlavidalowcarb.com and Kent Altena's link is http://www.network-admin.net/archives/2005_05.html. These are two great links.

Hello and Welcome!

Welcome to my first blog! I am completely new at this but I am sure it will not be that difficult. I want to share my low carb journey on this blog. I will try to tell what has happened to me on a daily low carb basis and give new and exciting info about the low carb world! My inspiration is Mr. Jimmy Moore. He has a wonderful blog at www.livinlavidalowcarb.com and he is a great inspiration to me. Check out his blog to find out how much weight he has lost and maintains using the low carb way of life.

After reading Jimmy Moore's blog and then his book I was so inspired to start low carb for the final time. I will be living the low carb way forever. Did you hear that?....FOREVER!!!! I have learned so much reading Jimmy's blog. Things that I never new before, that I have a renewed energy and spirit. Who knew there was a thing called induction flu....ok...well maybe you did...but I didn't and it stopped me in my tracks each time I tried to low carb. Induction flu is the first few days to a couple of weeks (depending on the person) when you are on the induction phase of your low carb. Your body is getting rid of toxins and all the nasty dependency (drug addiction) to SUGAR!!!!!!! (Thanks Kent Altena for your help on this matter).
Well being the goddess that I am...and yes... I am the goddess in my home! :) I would never stick it out long enough to get through this induction flu...cause it was icky feeling. Well I have since learned by the aforementioned smart people of low carb that this goes away....it goes away?? COOL!!!
So, with that being mentioned, I started my low carb wol yesterday at 292.4 pounds. I am 5'5" tall and 37 years old (and boy is this goddess feeling older than the hills packing around all this weight). I will post more about my eating, weight, experiences over time. But for now, take my advice go to Jimmy Moore's blog and read up. He is very well educated and a walking testament to this low carb thing. Talk to you all tomorrow! Blessings!